How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
