you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
