when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
there is puke in my bra ... again
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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