small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Boobs are out for the taking
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
