i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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