Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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