I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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