The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
