it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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