from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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