i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
