The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Randomize
