my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
