tell your sister to shave her snatch
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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