Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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