Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
