PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
