Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my poor anus
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
