I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
