I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
