holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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