he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He shit in the fireplace
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
