Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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