from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
