hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
