They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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