We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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