When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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