I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
