i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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