i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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