So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
