Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
