He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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