ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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