3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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