paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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