I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize