Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
