I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
