i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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