You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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