I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
