party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
