I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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