I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
