The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
