her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
