i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
