she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
