I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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