??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
false alarm, still single
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
