Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
