i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
