this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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