Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
