Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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