Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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