she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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