I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
