I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
