just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
