then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
