Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
