Tell her she can't have a vagina
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
