Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize