the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
