did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
