He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
