Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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