Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
