Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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