I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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