Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize