Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
