if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
