Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
