nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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