Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
