Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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