Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
