I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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