why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
