Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
