we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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