every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize