she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
