Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
