You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's intense
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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