We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
