he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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